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Thursday, January 31, 2013

SO MUCH COOLER ONLINE!


This is a true story...I promise! A couple of years ago, I was hanging out at a leading Asian incall - a place where it was virtually unavoidable to see the guys as they came in. And as it was a busy place, I got to see a fair amount of guys over time. So one day, I observed to the phone girl that the great majority of men walking in didn't look like they really needed to pay for the companionship of a lady which is to say - they were decent-looking enough to earn that companionship rather than buy it.

That comment lead her to relate a story about a prolific reviewer on a leading review site who portrayed himself as a "man about town" (her words not mine) when in fact he was the most repulsive guy the house had ever known. She went on to describe him in detail marveling that somebody so unappealing could be so full of himself online...and additionally identified the individual by his user name which didn't mean much to me until I started this blog and the same individual began communicating with me on a steady basis. Figuring it's good policy to answer all mail in the interest of generating good will and a following for the blog, I answered back on almost every occasion never divulging what I'd heard about this guy from the phone girl. End of story - but not quite.

Recently, I ran a banner ad on that site with a couple of self-taken portraits designed to be as goofy as humanly possible. I donned a dollar pair of readers, a baseball cap with a big button of Beavis and Butthead covering the Detroit Tiger logo...and made a contorted Mortimer Snerd kind of face to frost the cake. I mean...if you're gonna bill yourself as Psycho Bill...you don't exactly want to pose for a picture in a jacket and a tie like a self-impressed corporate exec or something! And it wasn't long before some moron went on the site commenting that I was the ugliest guy he'd ever seen and it was no wonder I have the job I do because were it not for my bizarre employment, I'd never get any with a mug like that.

The friend who called to inform me about all this (I wasn't aware) told me if this guy ever e-mailed me I should tell him to go fuck himself! But I was too amused to be offended because what he didn't know - and I did (by the guy's user name) - is that the individual who'd harpooned me me so viciously is in reality THE WORLD'S MOST REPULSIVE CUSTOMER TO WHOM THE PHONE GIRL HAD ALLUDED TWO YEARS BEFORE. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Get the fuck outta here! But seriously, I understand "The Hunchback of Notre Dame's" need to snap on another's perceived bad looks. Even the kid who gets his ass kicked for his lunch money every day needs somebody to bully. But the fact that he's a guy who e-mailed me incessantly and then wrote what he wrote makes him a fucking douchebag. To think I would take the time to answer all his correspondence and then he talks all that smack. What a dipshit!

But I don't really care about all that, honestly. It would be nice to look like Brad Pitt so I could swat the girls away like flies at a summer picnic. But I can score my share of good-looking women. It's not that big a deal. Regardless, the guy proves a point! That "so much cooler online" syndrome is always something I've figured was the rule rather than the exception. And this guy truly is the poster boy. I submit a video of what was a big country western hit a few years ago to wrap this entry. As c & w songs often do, this tune totally says it all!

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4 comments:

  1. As most of us know, looks don't mean shit.

    It's all so subjective until the person shows their true colors.

    I fall into the handsome guy, nice guy, respectful guy,the easy going guy, the sucker.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What I wouldn't give to know this guys handle.

    There is always a lesson to be learned here, what takes place on review boards and how some guys perceive themselves or try to portray themselves is far from the truth the majority of the time.

    The worst part is that some guys are compelled to emulate these "men about town" and the ladies can probably spot'em a mile away.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol...i hear that all the time. "You don't look like you need to come hear." Especially when I used to frequent non-Asian providers...back before I discovered the KMP scene.

    The thing is, I'm just lazy. Also, I have never met an Asian girl outside of KMPs. These Asian girls (with their fake tits and bronze skin) are by far my top choice and these girls are the cream of the crop...at least as far as body and looks are concerned.

    With the non-Asians, I would often feel like they should be paying me.
    ; )))

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've been lucky enough to play inside and out of the houses, always a gentleman and sometimes sought after as a date. I nevermake an ass out of myself by trying to be someone else or try to be who they want me to be.

    I'm a white guy and have dated almost every race and nationality outside of the game, I have no ego to fulfill by being fawned over or to propagate some dream. I just have fun and a fine looking woman with no strings attached is sometimes a necessity.

    ReplyDelete

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