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Saturday, January 19, 2013
DESPERATE TIMES AND DESPERATE MEASURES
The practice and science of telemarketing are no strangers to the business community at large. All you have to do is sit at home and listen to your phone ring with a succession of robo-assholes selling you all kinds of crap you don't need. Homeowners insurance for a renter, debt-consolidation to a guy who owes nothing, or car insurance to a bicyclist? They're all the folly of the robo-solicitor. Just part of life in the 21st century.
Well anyway...telemarketing has now reached a new low in the form of a certain Asian house soliciting customers from their data base. Yup, that's right. A few guys have e-mailed me asking what the fuck is up with this new Asian place which called them out of the blue asking if they'd like to come on over for an hour! And the recipients of the calls are not happy! As we all know, half the guys who patronize KMP's are married or in significant relationships. Their hobby is supposed to be a secret! Where the fuck does somebody get off calling them out of the blue like that? Hey! They could be with the kids - or wife - or in-laws!
At this point, it's no secret that most Asian houses sport a data base of habitual customers, and if you aren't in that data base, they won't even answer your call. I understand the need and that the policy ensures the safety of all parties involved - even if it does make it more than a little inconvenient for new guys to cross the threshold. But sales calls from a KMP? That's going a little too far don't you think, girls? I know these are desperate times but come on!
So to those guys who have fielded these solicitations, here is my advice: Offer them a hundred bucks for an hour. Ya know, it would be one thing if a hungry house called to offer a discount. But these girls aren't doing that. They are simply ringing guys up to offer the going rate! No sale or anything like that. Thus, I say seize the moment and let them know if this is the new policy, then it damn well ought to come with a fire sale to entice he who receives the call. Otherwise, get the fuck off the phone. Life is full of asshole telemarketers. Nobody needs one more! As if, ladies! Ease up! Try doing a good job and maybe guys will come back on their own. Just a thought, I know!