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Friday, January 4, 2013
THE FORMULA FOR SUCCESS
The past 2 months or so have been a rough go for my Asian buddies. Normally, the end of the year is the season to get fat for the girls but not last year. What with the hurricane and the big bustamundo, it just didn't happen. And now with the social security and payroll tax hike, the forecast is for more forbidding cloud cover. Yet, one house I know is actually prospering (I won't say which). A few months ago, they were fucked up and in debt to landlords and usurers...and now they've paid their bills and are doing fine. So what's the formula for success in the KMP world? How does that actually go? Well, I'm not exactly sure but from what I can deduce, here it is (and not necessarily in this order):
1. Gotta have a good phone girl. The ads give her the hot leads...and then she has to close the deal on the phone. Just a simple sales concept. Very important that a) the phone girl has a good voice...b) is friendly-sounding...and c) speaks fucking English! To the Koreans' credit, they've discovered in recent years that girls who are fluent (or at least semi-fluent) in English is essential. I can't tell you how many times 10 years ago I would call to telemarket Asian places for my boss at Action...giving them the big spiel on all I could do for them...only to hear the phone girl say something like "Ah! Two hundred dollar! You come over now?" Enough said!
2. Pretty and established girls who give good and consistent service! Having an A-lister like CHANEL (HOT LIPS), CHERRY (HOT ASIAN), KYMBERLY (LOVELY ASIAN) or SHA SHA (ASIAN PARADISE) is paramount. The regulars know about the starlets and will come out to see them. You know the theory that 5% of the women in the world get 95% of the play from guys while the other 95% starve? Well, it's that way in the K-world as well. Just one A-lister on staff can pay all the bills. That's just the way it goes.
3. New girls! If a KMP can find a new girl - whether she comes in from another city or straight from Korea for that matter - that's key! The guys are always on the prowl for a new experience with a fresh face. And if the girl is cute? Even better. That is the winning combination! Cute and new! You can't go wrong with those two!
4. The GFE thang! Asians have discovered what Jewels of New York has known all along. Guys want GFE service. Pretty girls who do GFE? They get the play - and the pay! There's a big upsell at KMP's for GFE service yet guys still go for the dough if the girl is worthy!
4. And finally...location, location, location. Lots of the girls' customers like to duck out for lunch or visit surreptitously right after work before they go home. And you definitely want your house to be as close to the workplace of as many customers as possible. That's why you'll find so many KMP's right in Midtown 30's close to the terminals. That way the girls can garner the most customers and get the best coverage.
So that's that: My intuitive formula for success free-of-charge for the girls (as if they didn't know all this already). Once busy places who haven't changed girls for months are now stagnant. And once slow places who have are now busy. The rub is to actually find new girls. It's not all that easy!
Moving on...I would be remiss if I didn't tell y'all that ASIAN PARADISE (347-256-7143) has a new girl! Her name is PEPSI and she's reasonably young, cute (I love her bangs) and of course, bubbly (hence, the name). Here she is!