PROFESSOR IRWIN COREY

You have to be of a certain age to remember this guy...but Professor Irwin Corey was an odd old man who used to go on the Johnny Carson Show wearing canvas sneaker high tops - and spewing a bunch of jibberish/double talk to entertain the crowd. And he was actually pretty funny or obviously, Johnny wouldn't have booked him.

Anyway...you know how I feel about the headlines, tag lines and come-ons the girls write for themselves to attract customers. Mostly, they're ignorant dog shit. Whatever...the other day I saw one which was so profoundly stupid it almost reminded me of the old professor. Of course, she wasn't trying to be funny. Actually, the intent was to sound intelligent (I assume). Nice try, honey! Here was the girl's solicitation: YOUR PLEASURABLE NEEDS IS MY QUALITY OF WORK!

Excuse me Professoresse! Exactly what the fuck is that supposed to mean? And mind you...this was an American girl - not a foreigner whom you might sympathize with because English isn't her first language. Often when I read a girl's hype, I'm overwhelmed and even nauseated by how full of herself the advertiser truly is.  But with this one? Amazed at how she can tie her shoes - or post her own ad! 

I'll tell ya one thing: If I go see that girl...I don't think I'll be discussing foreign affairs with her. And if I look in one ear...I'll be expecting to see right out the other one. You get my drift!