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buyer and seller. Mutual arrangements are for companionship and time spent only.
Saturday, August 31, 2013
A PORTAL TO THE SOUL
My current FWB (I only have one at the moment) is a real piece of work - as you can imagine. She's very strong of body - but extremely fractured of mind and soul. One minute she'll ooze "how are you, my baby? I want to marry you." And she'll mean it. And then the next, she might call up to say "I cannot deal with people like you who are below me. You're all so needy; you just want a piece of my power and happiness"...to which I'll generally respond "fuck you, bitch" and hang up on her. And two hours later...guess what! She'll bounce off another wall and come back with the marriage proposal thing again.
This program could really fuck with a guy's mind if he were in love. But I'm not..so while I find it annoying at times...it never reaches a serious threshold. And why would I put up with this nonsense? It's a simple physical attraction. From the day we met, both parties were interested. In fact, after our first meeting, she suggested I hang a picture for her in exchange for which she would "take care" of me. I didn't know how to hang a picture - but she took care of me anyway. What can I say? Every dog has his day...and this has been going on for like 10 years at this point. It turns out to be one of my longest-running relationships in life. Go figure!
So anyway...I thought I knew this woman pretty well until yesterday, when she soared to a new high...or descended to a new low - depending on your perspective. Whatever...the conversation turned to what I was doing for the Labor Day Weekend to which I responded that for the moment...and given the weather forecast...I wasn't sure - as there seemed no point to climbing a mountain in the rain. Plus...there's a girl who wants to pay me to take pictures of her. Thus, bad weather plus a prospective pay day = stay at home. And then it started.
"Are you going to fuck her?" asked the FWB with absolutely no jealousy in the question. While there are times the green monster appears to take a grip on her with the prospect that she's not my only "buddy," this was not one of those times.
Like the almost normal guy that I actually am, I responded "I'm not really sure. I've never met the girl - though she looks good in the phone pictures she sent me. So I figured I'd take the high road and just charge her 150 bucks and then wait to see if the mood strikes. Maybe then I'll work a deal." After all, I don't want to be tied to a situation where I'm playing photographer free-of-charge only to realize I have no interest in the girl that way - especially given that traveling to another boro is part of the compensation package.
But the FWB wouldn't take that as a rational answer. No, sirree! "You should take her money and fuck her!" frothed my buddy...and I could tell she was on a bender...having a fantasy on my behalf!
"Nice," I came back. "Isn't that a little manipulative?"
"Dolly" (her name for me), "I give you good advice. You take her picture and then just take out your dick and stick it in her mouth and then fuck her good...and tell her your dick costs $300. That's the way you treat these girls," she continued in virtual heat!
"Honey! You sound like a pimp born in a woman's body," I observed. "You should have a dick..."
But before I could finish the thought she was right back on it: "Absolute! Trust me, I give you good advice." And then she busted her intellectual nut (so to speak)! "You fuck her good. And then I want to pimp you out - you fucking whore!" Aha! I knew there was an agenda!
Now believe it or not...this is not an overture I haven't heard before... leaving me to wonder about the pathology of some of the escorts with whom I've had this "FWB" relationship. Ya know...most of my transsexual acquaintances contend that they're women born into men's bodies. So pursuing that line of thought, maybe a lot of escorts are really pimps born into women's bodies. Exactly why...if you like a guy and enjoy his company - and having sex with him...would you want to "pimp him out?" Is it a "let's play doctor" sort of thing? Or a shared abuse ritual that brings us closer together - at least in her mind? Talk about a portal into the soul! I should introduce this girl to my old Colombian FWB and let the two pimp each other out! Maybe that's the solution.
Anyway...we left it that I would take a picture of the girl giving me a blow job (were I to have sex with her) so the FWB could get a nasty thrill in the deal. Chances are decent that I'll have sex with her. But the odds of me having sex and taking a picture are slim to none because while the FWB is apparently a pimp born into a woman's body, I am not a pimp born into anybody's body. I have not gained the favor of escorts (assuming I have) by having that "pimp" sort of mentality.
Anyway...as you can see, my FWB is a twisted freak for sure...but she has her moments (I have a wardrobe full of t-shirts and underwear she likes to buy for me so I can model them when she comes over). And I'm convinced that deep down, she really does have feelings for me. Yes, there are a lot of loose screws banging around her addled mind. Of that there can be no doubt. Yet still...there's some sort of chemistry that works for us. Or maybe it's just the sex. Let me not overanalyze the situation and simply enjoy it for what it is. A hot girl wants to have sex with me? I'm there. It's really pretty simple. And that would be the portal into my soul! I'm out.