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Wednesday, August 21, 2013
I'm sorry to say that my old friend Willie "No Fives" Talkovsky died recently. If you remember my entry about the crusty cabby who wouldn't allow the Rolling Stones in his cab because there were five of them at the time...that was Willy.
Willy was part of the Greatest Generation...a World War II vet who drove a taxi his entire life after the war. Or as he used to say about his work load..."I drive a cab part time...and I sleep part time."
Willy was a fellow columnist at the taxi publication where I worked, and was not only the least intelligent jew I've ever known...but the worst writer ever to appear in print. Despite his total lack of talent for putting the word on paper, some people liked his column. He would rant and rave and then end with his signature line "and now I'll shut my big, fat mouth."
Best of all...Willie had war stories galore. Like the time his outfit finally trapped a sniper who'd picked off a couple of guys. Upon discovering the killer was a girl, he claimed they shoved a machine gun up her twat and let go with a blast. Yikes! And then he had another gruesome tale about finding a dead American soldier with his dick cut off and stuck to his forehead with a bayonet. Ya know... a calling card from a German to build American morale! Double yikes!
I don't know if those stories were true but my buddy John (who told me Willy had passed) did relate a spooky anecdote I completely believe. I'd never heard this one from Willy but apparently one brutal day...when the war had totally fucked with Willy's mind...he chased down a little German boy and strangled him to death....an act that haunted him for the rest of his life.
Nobody really likes to talk about wartime atrocities. One of the sailors whose tales of terror blessed the book I referenced a few days ago said he saw Marines do stuff to the Japanese that he couldn't bring himself to describe it was so awful.
Anyway...even if I wasn't a big believer in Willy's talent, I actually did like the guy. He was the quintessential and legendary American-born/wise-cracking cabby. I'm sorry he had to go to war. And I'm sorry he had to be haunted by the one gruesome act that weighed so heavily on his mind forevermore.
Rest in peace finally...Willie Talkovsky. I'm sorry I missed the funeral. And now (drum roll) out of respect for my cab-driving pal...I'll shut my big fat mouth!