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Monday, August 19, 2013
PSYCHICS FOR PSYCHOS
Gimme a break with the fucking psychics. Like really...does anybody believe in that bull shit? Not me for sure. But sometimes I think I'm in the minority!
So I'm watching "The Big Bang Theory" the other night...and the episode centers around Penny's belief in psychics...and Leonard's dismay with the stupidity of the situation. He, like me, thinks it's hogwash. After the show ends, I call up an escort friend and guess what! The girl is all upset because she didn't like what her psychic had to say that day. Basically, the "soothsayer" told her to stop letting guys take advantage of her. And thus...she was in a foul mood... raging on and on about how nobody was worthy of her affections.
Just great. Earlier in the day she'd called up wanting to come over. That was before her visit. After? Every male on the planet was a piece of shit...including me! "Wait a minute," said I. "You pay this woman to tell you this crap? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she's just a jealous old shrew and not really a psychic?"
I went on to tell her a true story from many years ago. "Ya know...I knew a guy who worked as a psychic for a phone line hustler. And here's how he gave you the reading. He'd ask your birth date. Then he'd add up the numbers...ya know like 3/14/66 equals 83...and he'd go to page 83 of the book they gave him and give you your reading!"
This illuminating piece of info meant nothing to her. She was on a bender and intent on staying that way. But then when the girl needed a favor that I could provide...she finally relented deciding (I guess) that I was the one guy who didn't live to take advantage of her. And thus...after performing some fairly complicated photoshop work on her behalf, I prevailed. But it wasn't easy. I had to be patient and understanding that some psychos actually believe in psychics! Boy! The stuff guys gotta do to get laid. Outrageous!