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Wednesday, July 3, 2013
EVERY DOG HAS HIS (LABOR) DAY
As cited previously, I decided to do the usual (nothing) this Labor Day weekend. I know some guys think I'm blessed what with my line of work but in actuality, I have no life. No wife...no kids...no real job to go to...very few friends...and really, nothing to do.
So Saturday (which was actually almost sunny), I volunteered to feed the homeless. But actually, I did more schlepping water bottles and cleaning caked-up cookware than interacting with the elite who line up for the free feedbag. As you can imagine...there weren't a lot of hot chicks around, but that wasn't the point. I was supposed to be giving back - or whatever - but I have to tell you...I didn't especially find my role as chief cook and bottle washer all that gratifying.
Whatever...yesterday was a tad more upbeat, and by the time my head hit the pillow, this dog had had his day (and way). After doing a little bargain hunting at CVS and Associated foods, I decided to hit the Asser Levy pool having noticed the day before (while riding home from my volunteer work), that the pool was surprisingly empty! Apparently, if the sun doesn't shine, the kids and parents don't come out!
And sure enough, there were a grand total of 19 people in the pool when I arrived. So I got my laps on almost unabated and retired to the crib to finish my biography of Fredrick Douglass...and then drift off to sleep until I awakened to watch "Julie and Julia," a gayish move which I actually like because Meryl Streep might be the best actress (or actor) ever...and the Julie part of the story was about a blogger who made good. Hey! Even an old geezer can have a dream!
Then I decided it was time to either get busy - or get paid. An old FWB (not the present one...she's off "visiting") had called earlier in the day sounding like she wanted to do a little quid pro quo - if you get my drift. She promised to call later on after she was done with her visitor, but by one o'clock I hadn't heard anything.
Understanding that me calling her would put me at a disadvantage, I did just that anyway. Bad move! The girl had an attitude and decided the quid pro quo would be a payment (to her)! I wasn't impressed. Earlier in the day, the woman wanted new pictures and now suddenly - after bragging about how much money she makes - she needs more? No fucking sale! I told her "no thanks" and hung up immediately figuring she'd call back in a minute or two. That didn't happen - or at least I thought it didn't (more on that later).
After waiting maybe 45 minutes, I decided "well...no get laid...maybe I can get paid" - and called the late night outcall girl I mentioned before who also wanted pictures. And bang! She was out walking her dog - and ready to buzz over from Brooklyn in a cab! And let me tell you...this girl must have taken a rocket ship to my door! I was barely out of the shower when the phone lit up. She had arrived!
In walked a vision (or whatever...let's not get too mushy here)... a tallish, slinky lady of color with a big chest, nice legs, a pretty face...and a long wavy weave which I knew half of which would end up in my sink (I have experience in these matters). A little conversation a la escort and customer - and then to the photos. And it was "all good" until the time came for me to get paid - whereupon my lens candy revealed that she'd have money tomorrow.
Now this could have been a bad moment except...I liked the girl and already had decided to do the quid pro quo I'd planned with the old FWB...except with the new FWB with the much better attitude!
Not only did we have a nice and extended (at least I was extended) interlude...but after photoshopping her pix for a while, she volunteered a continuation of the party! When was the last time that happened?
Anyway...she calls herself CRYSTAL and can be reached for consultation at 347-249-6525. Sweet girl with beautiful, soft skin. And she only left one long weave hair in my sink.
This morning after my bowl of cereal, I checked my caller ID (I'd silenced the ringer the night before) and came to realize the first girl actually called back two minutes after I hung up on her for trying to turn me into a customer. How about that (as Mel Allen used to say)? Happy Labor Day everybody. I'm out.
P.S. On the subject of old sports announcers...if you haven't seen "Glickman" on HBO...and you're a sports fan...don't miss it. Excellent documentary which will take you back to the good old days. And now I'm really out!