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Sunday, January 26, 2014

THE BARTENDER'S BOYFRIEND


Back when I was the neighborhood cab driver, there were just a few places you could find me. I was either driving...sleeping...fishing...hunkered down in a lap dance joint...or hanging out in an East Village bar tryin' to get laid. And as a regular at Downtown Beirut, The Village Idiot and later...The Coyote Ugly, I was friendly with most of the bartenders, all of whom were pretty hot (that's why they got hired). We had a lot in common. Like...we were all in the service industry - and all had stories about horrible customers who drove us to distraction. We were colleagues of a sort. Plus, I drove a lot of them home at 5 AM!

Anyway...I used to love watching these girls operate - working their magic on all the patrons. There must have been 50 guys who would tip lavishly hoping against all odds that they would be that one dude who'd become the bartender's boyfriend. I knew pushing the issue with any of these girls was a waste of time. But the 50 guys didn't. They might as well have played the lottery with their gratuities. They'd have had a better chance at winning a million bucks than the heart of one of those stone cold drink-slingers!

Those days are long gone for me but just recently, a random event at one of my friend's places of business brought back the memories. The girl I was visiting is a crowd favorite on the review boards. Guys rave about her performance constantly, and I can tell some have developed a little crush on Miss Honey. During our visit, the girl's phone rang with her super on the other end calling to say he'd be arriving Monday morning at 10 AM to paint her apartment. So I asked the benign question "you live in Flushing like everybody else?" But she responded "no...Los Angeles," and then shoved her phone in my face to show me a photo of some nondescript guy. I looked up to see the face of a little girl in love and I knew THIS WAS THE BARTENDER'S BOYFRIEND! He may have been 3000 miles away. And she may be an escort "entertaining" multiple guys per day. But nobody or nothing really has a grip on her heart except this nondescript guy. And it brought me back to the parallel world of those bodacious bartenders...all the guys who frothed for them...and the lucky buckeroo who somehow lassoed one of their hearts.

I tell this as a cautionary tale to those who would think that their interaction with the girls is anything beyond the obvious. Yes, a lucky guy could occasionally hit the lottery and live the "pretty woman" dream. But consider the prize - which more often than not is an overused vehicle - loaded with baggage - traveling down the road on treadless tires. A slippery slope indeed, I'm sure we can all agree. Hence, I repeat. Have your fun - and get 'er done! And then just leave it at that. On balance, you'll be better off for your level-headed discretion. Lust can often be taken for love by a testosterone-fueled fool - whether he's hitting on an East Village bartender - or dropping 200 bucks at a you-know-what. Just my two cents for a sleepy Sunday.

And apropos of nothing (except that the phone just rang), ROSE HOUSE (347-624-3305) called to say that MIA is on vacation and has been replaced by HAPPY. Here's her pic.

19 comments:

  1. Was the girl Aqua? Chanel? Jolie?

    Many hearts are going to break, haha.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmmm LA:...was it crazy sha sha?

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  3. This is a repeat from many years ago. The girl was Cherry - the 4' 11" cutie with the phat booty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss her! She was my ATF, I would totally be tempted to take the plunge with her! I can only hope she pops back up... I still fantasize over that one. we had so much chemistry.

      Delete
  4. got to contradict. I have had pretty good luck, when I try. (including at least one of your former clients). I am older and not quite Brad Pitt. But then, its a head game, not about cash, being great in bed, etc. Having said this, I must say that through my ratio is pretty high amoung Americans and Latinas, I have trried to turn liasons with Koreans into something else multiple times and came up with a fat zero.
    I have thought about it a lot, and I think that the difference is the language barrier. Since their English skills are limited, they miss the small nuances. I am sure their judgments are heavier on the superficials, such as looks, etc


    ReplyDelete
  5. wow DB the new girl at rosehouse look gorgeous!.....her name sure sucks tell her to change it to Abby or somthin. Happy has got to be one of the stupider names a k-girl has picked. they really should consult u on the names, get a male americans intput

    ReplyDelete
  6. Can't turn a hoe into a housewife nor should you want to .

    Women for some reason have this romanticism when it comes to long distance relationships. Never been in one but they've tried dragging me in a couple .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many are seeking money and support without wanting to change their lifestyle. Very few are looking to get out and have a “normal" life.

      Delete
  7. Your recent posts have been therapeutic autobiographical in nature but not really zinging, exposing the industry, the girls, the gosspi etc.

    Now, dont tell me "what are you paying for this blog", "blow me" and other repeated and childish remarks.

    You have an opportunity this week with the city filling with testosterone fueled males for the Super Bowl who will be on Google and your blog appears and they might become devoted readers which fuels your advertising pitch based on volume of clicks.

    Go with the gossip flow, the zingers on the girls, the inside stories.

    Dont miss the opportunity that comes around once for a cold weather Super Bowl in your area.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think the Superbowl will be the bonanza some hopefuls are anticipating. Plus, I am severely constrained by the girls themselves and by law as to what I can - and cannot - say on this blog. Add to that the reality that I don't see or hang out with a lot of the sidebar people like I used to and what you get is what you've been getting since two Novembers ago. If you don't like it, contact the owners of your favorite KMP's and the State Attorney General. They are my censors.

      Delete
  8. well written, fairly obvious, and symptomatic of the fantasy plagued "hobbyists" and bartender fans. Fantasy is a plague. It wastes time and money. It is the life blood of the business you promote, bill. Acting out fantasies is tragic, but being unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality -- tragic and pathological. That's why the idea of seeing an escort is laughable to me. To pay for that? I'd rather just go to sleep and dream for free!

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  9. Hot diggity fuck, Happy DOES look gorgeous. I have to agree with the other commenter though: Happy is a godawful name. Makes me think of Adam Sandler fighting Bob Barker.

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  10. DB, you mean AMI (not Mia) at Rosehouse is away on vacation?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Did Mia ever arrive at Rose House? Near as I can tell she was supposed to be there in mid December, then 1/15, and now "vacation". Too bad. I've been waiting for her to return since she left Asian VIP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mia never came back....i have a feeling she is tired of the biz

      Delete
  12. if the poster at 816 can explain why he reads this blog, but considers paying an escort "tragic" I would love to hear aabout it. and he thinks it is a fantasy to ever attempt to hit on a bartender or escort, I guess he has no confidenc(everyone of them "loves" or at least has a relationship with some guy .If he has so little confidence, I imagine he knows from experience

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  13. No. Mia never did show.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Why do people always want what they can't have? The illusive carrot just out of reach.

    Mia is just Ami spelled sideways.

    I suggest you cock your head and dive in

    ReplyDelete

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